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My Wife Wants To Punish Our College-Going Son After Finding Out His Secret, And Other Family Drama Stories

My Wife Wants To Punish Our College-Going Son After Finding Out His Secret, And Other Family Drama Stories
Two sisters spar over what age their father should finally stop paying the bill.
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Remember those feel-good movie characters from the aughts who'd one day find a troubled family and teach them how to love again? Well, none of them were available, so I'll have to do. That's right, I've gathered some of the wildest family drama from across Reddit, and now you're invited to my virtual BBQ to hear it all. From failed family vacations to parents knowing when to cut the leash, I'm here to ruin everyone's Thanksgiving, even if we're in April.


Getting More And More Uneasy With My Daughter's Disney Cruise Trip, And Now I Want To Cancel It

Married 11 years. Husband (44) wanted our daughter (9) to spend time with grandma (his mom) and somehow a plan to do a Disney Cruise came about. I (38f) felt a little uneasy, since husband and I would not be there and his mom is getting on in age (sheโ€™s slower, more forgetful, more easily overhelmed). But MIL and daughter seemed keen. So I agreed.

When a great aunt joined the party, the cruise started to be called the girls trip.

But now Iโ€™ve heard (not because anyone told me but because I heard MIL tell someone else about it) that a distant relative (20 M), someone I have never met before and someone my husband has only met once, will be joining them on the cruise. This trip is no longer a girls trip. I asked why he was going (is he obsessed with Disney? Is he coming to assist the elderly? Is he getting a free trip from my rich MIL cuz heโ€™s always wanted to travel???) and no one can seem to explain. They just shrug and say he just wants to go. MIL is saying no more than that. I told her it was weird and I wasnโ€™t ok with it.

Husband was on the same page initially, then MIL cried and now my husband says Iโ€™m overreacting and says he feels fine sending our daughter on this trip.

Iโ€™m freaking out here cuz husband isnโ€™t on my team and I absolutely do not want my daughter to go on this cruise any more. My gut is screaming no.

Since she's a child and her hopes have already been raised, listen to the comments and approach her as a united front. Explain to her it's not that you're a total hardass, but rather that this plan is not shaping up to be a good time. By explaining that she may have to parent her grandma and hang out with a grown man the whole time, I'm sure you can get the point across that this would be better as a future mommy and daddy, or at least an outing with your school friends kind of, trip. Read the rest of the thread here.


Did We Make An Easter Mistake With Our Niece Who Is Raised Culturally Different?

Our 13 year old niece (we'll call her Lizzy) was spending the Easter weekend with us as she is best friends with our 11 year old niece (we'll call her Maya) who we're adopting (their bio moms are both my wife's sisters). Lizzy's mom is currently in prison so she's being raised with her 8 siblings by her pastor stepdad. His church is not a normal church and they don't believe in celebrating holidays.

Since Lizzy was over for Easter, I got her a basket like I got for Maya with a mini squishmallow, body spray, lip oil, a YA novel, etc. She loved the basket and took it with her when she left for school this morning. But just now her stepdad came over and returned the basket saying that Lizzy couldn't have it. He also returned a box of tampons that apparently Maya gave her (I didn't know about it). Maya says it's because Lizzy didn't have any and had to sit out swim class.

Stepdad didn't seem angry or anything and said she could keep the basket at our house for when she visits but he didn't want her to have it at home. I'm not sure if we did anything wrong because he's just a very strange man. Do you think we undermined his parenting? I just didn't want her to feel left out since Maya and our four year old and even our pets got baskets.

Alright, so some important pieces of context here include the fact that the girl's mom met the pastor while in prison, and the girl's basket was returned because her seven younger siblings allegedly got into it and started making a mess. I would understand if the alluded religion was part of the family's culture, but again, going off the OP's words, that doesn't appear to be the case here. I also agree with the comments; it doesn't sit right that this man sent back the tampons as if it's really his place when he's not her legal or biological father. That thought process does seem like a bit of a parenting red flag and it's also an alarming oversight that he sent this teenage girl to school without any menstrual products. Read the rest of the thread here.


I Bought Our College-Going Son Manga, Younger Sister Stumbled Upon It, And Now My Wife Wants To Punish Him

So me (49M) and my wife (48F) have three kids (20M, 17F, 12F). Now our son is a uni student but is currently at home for the Easter holidays. My son is really into something called โ€œBLโ€, I didn't really know what it was, he had mentioned it a few times but never went into detail. I still don't really know but found out a bit more a few weeks ago as I went to visit him and we went to a manga store and I said I would buy him one.

The cashier asked for his ID but he forgot to bring it, she correctly assumed I was his dad and explained that the book was 18+, my son looked really embarrassed and quickly told her that he's 20 (he does look younger than he is, often mistaken from anywhere between his actual age and around 14ish), and I nodded in agreement. I didn't really bring it up and just left it at that.

Fast forward to now, he's home and brought a few books back with him, some regular books, and some in the same vein as the one I bought him. His youngest sister loves to read as well, and when she saw the stack of books on his side she went to grab one, he quickly stopped her and told her shes not allowed to read those, She was confused and asked why, and he told her that she's too young, and I thought that was it.

Well, today I came home from work for lunch only to be greeted by my wife yelling at our son, apparently while he was out with some friends, his sister had gone up to his room to look for the books (he had put them away after she tried to read them the first time) and my wife found her reading a section that definitely earned the book its 18+ rating.

She completely blamed our son for even owning books like that and was talking to me about what kind of punishment we should give him. I was taken aback and told her that he did nothing wrong, he's an adult so he can own and read books like that, and he moved the books to a more hidden spot after his sister found them the first time.

This has now caused a massive argument, as she's adamant that our son needs to be punished while I don't think so and have said I will not support any punishment she gives him as it's unfair and he did nothing wrong. My wife is now saying that I don't care about our daughter and that im manipulating her and undermining her authority as his mother, so AITA?

EDIT: my wording seems to have confused a few people, im sorry, this situation concerns my younger (12) daughter, not my 17 year old

So for everyone at work, the manga mentioned, "BL" stands for boy love, and is a popular erotic manga trope involving male protagonists. I know, the title made it seem like it was dank weed or something, but honestly, that would've been less interesting to dive into. Regarding the mom here, let's just be real, it's not a stretch that she's mad at it being gay. I agree with the other comments; I'm sorry, but this little girl was told not to do something, she did it anyways and invaded someone's personal space, she's the one who needs a talking to. But alas, there's no way around this drama other than addressing the specific issue mom has with the subject material. In closing, he's 20 and only getting older, you can't tell him what to do anymore, and trying to won't keep him from discovering himself either. Read the rest of the thread here.


Is My Sister Justified In Letting Dad Pay For Nearly Everything?

I'm an adult now. I still live with my parents but I pay rent. Now if I want to eat out with them or watch a movie with them, it is either I pay for them OR everyone pays (EP) for themselves (but I have to mention that right after the invite).

My sister however gets mad at me when I say everyone pays for themselves. She graduated from college already but she still tries to get our dad to pay for things. She is basically taking over his generosity. Yesterday, during the morning, I realized for dinner it was just me and dad. I decided to ask dad to eat dinner together, (EP). However my sister, who was sitting beside my dad, looked at me and gave me a "no" nod. I did not understand what she meant. She said she was having a work dinner. However during dinner time, my sister suddenly came home. My sister's work dinner was cancelled and she joined me and my dad. So yeah she paid for herself. At home, she berated me for making the dinner EP. She said that our dad is very generous and we should let him give his generosity to us. I then called her out because she is using him. I told her it was MY IDEA and I should at least pay for myself. If ever you start a dinner or movie date with parents, pay your part at least! Don't let their over-generosity take over. She then just retreated to her room.

IDK why she is like that. I started the date, I pay for myself. It's that simple.

Listen, your parents are adults too, and they should be able to spend their money as they please. Most young 20-somethings right out of college have pennies to their name and live paycheck to paycheck doing entry-level jobs โ€” it could be that your dad knows this and wants to make sure his little girl gets a decent meal that isn't a whole hour of her salary or with some bum on a date. Look, unless she's still getting car, phone and rent payments financed from him too, I really wouldn't sweat your dad dropping $20 for her chicken tender basket. Also, most parents may pay to feel more comfortable around their adult kids; it's just a whole power dynamic shift seeing their kids become fully independent, especially as they age too. So let them cling onto paying for just a little bit longer, it might just be helping to put your dad at ease. Read the rest of the thread here.


[Image credit: Pixabay]

Comments

  1. Lee Harrington 1 month ago

    First off: Joel, really good writing; pre headline; headline; post headline; opening paragraph - all good stuff. But I want to stick up for the twelve year old girl. If you tell a human they're not allowed something and them hide it within their enormously resourceful human grasp, what do you think is going to happen?

    1. Kraeg Minett 1 month ago

      With some 12 year olds, they do what they are told and they learn this is a part of learning how to respect boundaries.
      With other 12 year olds, they will go looking, find what they are looking for and get caught. Consequences for those actions is a part of learning how to respect boundaries.
      The 12 year old doesn't need someone sticking up for her as what she has done is wrong. This isn't a thunderclap style punishment moment but it absolutely is a teaching moment so that she learns not to do this as an adult.
      If the 12 year old isn't held accountable, she will reach adulthood practicing the same behaviour and will you find yourself sticking up for her then? If your answer is "She's an adult then, and should know better"... well this is where she learns to "know better".


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